The Script

Wow, what a weekend. I had almost 4 crazy days all by myself. It was interesting. I went out w/ a long time friend of mine who lives in Dallas. We went down on 4th St. Mostly gay bars but not all. It was fun. I only had 3 drinks in a 4 hour period and then decided to do a tequila shot. Yeah, that was a bad idea. I crutched to my car w/ my friends, felt fine. Got in my car, it started spinning and I puked. Friends were gone. I could barely dial my mom's number. It was weird. I did though and she and Brad came to get me at 3 in the morning. They got me and took my car home. Yuck!!!! I've been that drunk maybe a total of 3 times in my life. I couldn't believe it, 3 drinks (that didn't taste that strong). I do remember getting kissed by a stranger. Some guy walked up to me, asked to borrow my lighter, planted a big fat kiss on my cheek and said, "You're absolutely beautiful." I think he was gay even though he was with a group of people. I stood there just like, "WTH??" I smiled but I can't say that's ever happened before. Then I was standing at the gay bar and this guy said, "She's beautiful." I turned not because I thought they were talking about me but because we were at a gay bar full of men and I honestly thought Simone would've walked in (my gay drag queen hairdresser). Then his bf said, "Yes, love, you." We started talking and they were funny. Young, cute, but funny. I don't know, it's flattering but I guess I don't see it. I'm trying. My brother says all guys want in your pants. So, I'm hesitant to believe a lot of what comes out of a guy's mouth....but a gay guy doesn't want in my pants, right?

I spent most of my weekend alone watching tv or hanging out at my house. I'd go to dinner w/ my sister, Dad, and brother or hang out at Mom's but spent most of my time parked on my couch. I managed to watch 2 movies. I spent a lot of time on my computer.

Today, I had an interesting coffee date w/ someone who shall remain nameless. I thought it would only last about an hour or so but 3 hours later and I had to get boys or it could've been like 5 hours. I was contacted by said person a few days ago. It was a relief actually. I had thought about contacting her to discuss some things but decided against it. In that 3 plus hours, it was just confirmation after confirmation for my decision to be single right now. And also, enlightened on a guy that I once trusted. Again, what a moron. I don't like to say I regret anything in life because you can't change it after it all happens so why have regret? But this one, I really think I do. Probably moreso than Drew or Jeff or Adam. Now, if I can just tame that regret and keep it from turning into hate, we'll be fine. I will say that I always told this guy that I was a role in a script. Today, that was confirmed. He is now dating someone and took her to see Princess Bride. That's what he does w/ all his girlfriends. Let their script begin but I don't care to stay tuned because I know how it ends. :-)

Me and Braden have decided that if we're 35 and both single, we'll get married. It's actually about as funny as the wingman jokes we have going. I originally suggested 40 but he brought it down to 35. AND he's 32 now. We'll have to work out the details of Austin vs. Dallas but all in all, sounds good. :-) Ha! He's really a good guy. I can't wait to catch up in person. It should be a lot of fun. I'm not hoping for anything but a really good bud right now. That's what I need. But I will say that he's been wonderful on pulling me out of my funk from my break-up w/ Jefferson. He told me last night, "after next weekend you will not even remember Jefferson." He's also told me over and over how I was too good for JR. Considering I have some insecurities about my physical appearance, it's been very nice to hear, actually. It helps that it comes from someone that I consider to be really attractive. In fact, my friends say, "hot!" I never thought JR was attractive although I would tell him he was. And the more we dated, the more his looks grew on me. There definitely was something very dorky about him. And Drew had a nice upper body build but wasn't cute in his face.I still think Kevin is handsome. I think its the eyes and I loved that he was so much taller than me. I wish he would cut his hair though. Ugh. And I have to say that aside from Kevin, Adam is the only cute guy I dated  and kind of in opposite terms of JR, he became uglier the more I got to know him.  Braden seems to think he can find me a good looking quality guy. What Braden doesn't know is that I don't really care to date anyone right now. But I'll amuse him and play along. He also thinks that my having kids is a bonus. Still need some explanation on that. I told him about my test for the next guy. I could never see JR playing sports w/ the boys. He would, sort of, but it was very unnatural. So the test is simple. If I can't picture said guy throwing ball w/ my boys, he's out. He doesn't have to be a jock but he has to have a natural nurture gene. JR's was forced.

I kind of wished I lived in Dallas though. I miss my friends and am not sure how to go about making new ones. Real ones. Still working on it.

I've been talking to the guys on the racing team and they're excited to have me there on Saturday. I hope Braden can go with me. I'm not staying long. Just long enough to tell the Matts and Sarah hello and give Jen a hug and maybe take some pics for them.

I've got to get to bed now. I have a busy 3 days this week.