Boys, Boys, Boys

What a fanfreakintastic weekend!!!!!!!!!!!  I feel like I'm back in my groove.

Yesterday, I woke up, finished laundry, ALMOST finished a cup of coffee while it was warm, the boys laid around watching cartoons, lazy morning for them. I made scones. Then we played football in the house. Then we made waves in the rug in the living room and had our own motocross w/ hotwheels. Then we got ready and ran a few errands and off to the bounce house. I had some free passes so figured good to use them. I ran around there like a crazy person playing w/ them. Then attracted everyone else's kids. It was fun. After that, the boys were sick of me so they ventured on their own. I sat and watched all the families play and I wasn't sad or lonely. I put my iPod in and responded to a few texts on my phone. After 4 hours of that, we left. We hit the photobooth which, for some reason, I love. I finally got one of me and Kasyn but he's not happy in it. And 4 people in a photobooth is a bit much. The kids asked me for snacks and drinks and the, "No, we don't have money for that right now" shut them up. It was nice. I do wish we had spent the day outside but it was rather hot. Me, Mom, and Q did our 3 car switch so finding Mom's car when it was said and done was a bit of a disaster but we made it.

Came home and the kids weren't that hungry. I had packed snacks and such and we had a late lunch so we had popcorn for dinner. They were good w/ that. Kasyn fell asleep in timeout but woke up 2 hours later. I was worried he'd be too wired to go back to sleep but he wasn't. Then I laid with them and watched Hotel for Dogs and Kyan dictated everything that was about to happen just before it did. Luckily after 20 minutes, they crashed out. Then I read some of my book and laid and stared at the ceiling thinking. I felt like I had worked out but didn't. I, too, was just exhausted.

This morning we woke up, had Toaster Strudel for breakfast, showered and went to church. No fights, no arguing on clothes (of course, I let them wear their swimsuits so what could they be upset about). I treated myself to Starbucks and learned that the kids are happy w/ ice water which is free. Kevin, the guy that takes the order, not as cute as Darren, and half Darren's age, said, "Ok, grande white mocha and one more thing, You're the greatest!" I laughed as did the kids and said, "Keep telling me that." Church was good. I decided in that moment that I'm exactly where I need to be in life. Not at church necessarily but more not being in a relationship with someone who is Atheist. To each is their own and I still think JR has great qualities but there's a "thing" about believers....a warmth. I want someone like that. And if there isn't a God, and I die, having lived my life as a believer? So what? Right? And even though JR and I debated you could still be moral and not believe in God, I do agree to an extent but wonder if that's where his coldness comes from. And another thing I thought about at church....in all of Kevin's wrongdoings, at least he can admit them. JR does no wrong. Anyway, then we went to Big Lots and purchased a slip n' slide. The boys were pretty good in that store, considering all the distraction there is really. That was the best $10 I've spent in a long time. We drove to Neen's and had our lunch, held Vivian, and played in her backyard. Even me and Joe went down the slide. It was fun. I got lost on my way back home but singing in the car w/ the boys was a riot. I had a text from Jeri that Jerome was in the hospital and had had a seizure so I picked up her son. Now, we're home, still wet from this afternoon, jamming to music, playing, doing laundry, and hanging out.

I still thought about Michael and JR this weekend, a lot. I'd even say I missed him but there was no stress. I didn't worry about my kids pissing anyone off. I didn't worry about anything but loving my boys. It was great! And I'm actually convincing myself that it was his loss. I want a warm, kind, gentle, man to share life with....not someone so "right" about everything and uptight. Still sad but doing juuuussssttt fine. He wasn't a complete asshole. There were times he was very sweet but not a natural demeanor for him. He thinks too much and can't just be.....or feel. Is that what I want? Absolutely not!

I talked to Mom last night. I'm so excited to go out on the boat next weekend. I have wanted to water ski all my life. This could be my chance. JH is coming in town from Amarillo and hasn't been to Austin in like 10 years. I already worked out the drop details w/ Linda for the boys on Friday. Let's hope this week goes by superfast....and next week even faster. I'm more looking forward to that weekend.