"Its in these moments we find who we really are" ....Jillian Patrick
Ahhh, today was my day...the day I had looked forward to/dreaded since August (see Fat Camp blog). Today was the Warrior Dash. 3.2 miles, 11 obstacles, mud, fire, water, terrain, hay bales, ropes, walls, tires, sweat, cold, fun, and in my case, sibling rivalry, growth, and perspective.
Woke up this morning running a bit behind schedule. We were supposed to be there an hour before our wave started, which was at 9 am. And funny, the person that chose that early time, bailed on us. One of our team members got sick this week and couldn't come. The other one, never even registered. So, wouldn't you know, the Wakefield sisters are at it again. Have I mentioned how much I love doing anything athletic with my sister? Oh yeah, I don't. She's like some ex-All Star basketball player, ex-Navy, cyclist, gym junkie, P90X, hearts things like Insanity. I even used her computer last night and some Excel spreadsheet was on her screen...not a budget, not a work program, an Insanity schedule. I did my fair share of sports growing up. Volleyball and soccer and yeah, sure, I was good. Starter, A-Team, select player but was considered "the smart child" but in my mind considered myself "the fat sister" (even though I wasn't overweight) in comparison to my siblings. Neen was the athletic one. Quincy, depending on year, was "the creative one" also "the funny one"...Standing in the kitchen, Neen says, "Oh since no one is going to show up today (our team), I'm going to go for best time. You're on your own."
So we're off to a late start, Neen is screaming at "Betty" (her GPS) and we arrive 30 mins before our start time. We grab our registration packets and run back to the car to put up our warrior hats and t-shirts. So, Neen is running ahead of me to open the trunk and I fall. Right in the parking lot, which is actually a cleared field and I tripped over a stick. People are walking into the event, much like you could picture a concert's flock of fans would be. I was so effin embarrassed. What does my sister do/say? Keeps running looking back and saying, "Pick up your feet, Khaki!! Is this how its going to be today?" I get to the car and throw our stuff in the trunk. Yes, I was carrying her shit too. Bitch. I wanted to deck her. Hell, a part of me wanted to just sit in the front seat and pout until she apologized.
Flashback: Church Camp, 1996. I'm carrying 2 gallons of milk to our condo in Panama City Beach, FL. My mom is forcing us to go to this church camp to make friends in our new city, Dallas. I busted on the asphalt and there goes my condo's weekly milk ration. Scraped up my knees and hands and was mortified. Neen, doesn't help me. Laughs. Oh and the things I had to do that week for her. She had broken both wrists and was casted. BOTH effin arms. Who helped her use the bathroom, shower, get trays of food, oh and yeah, rescue her ass when she decided to go wave jumping out to sea? Me.
I find that people in my lately don't really react the same way to situations like I do/would/hope that I would if in their shoes. But I didn't. I mustered up a laugh and shook it off. FML.
We pin our bibs on and tie our chips to our shoes and back at it again. We've been here 15 minutes and I feel like doing high knees on the way back in out of fear for falling again. Have I mentioned I have a HUGE fear of public humiliation? In the top 3, fears of mine.
We are walking around to the starting line. I'm already seeing some really crazy stuff and I'm loving it. People in teams. True teams. As in, they all dressed in Ninja turtle outfits, superhero outfits, crazy home-grown pieced together creativity. I think its awesome and half wished at that point I was a part of something like that. Standing at the starting line, I look at people. I get kind of quiet. I'm nervous. I want to puke. There are people of all shapes and sizes. All athletic abilities which is why I even signed up for this race. Someone mentioned that there were up to 650 people in each wave. I definitely think there were at least 200 in our's but I'm not sure. I kept hearing teams chant things like, "No man gets left behind." Even saw some shirts w/ that printed. I just felt very out of place. Then my mind starting racing on its own, random thoughts.
Wonder what the boys are doing? I hope Kevin remembers to send back Kyan's backpack back home. What time will I have to leave tomorrow to get them? Wonder if Braden and Darla are having fun back in Amarillo. Wish they were here. No, I don't. Yes, I do. No, I don't. How sweet of Jenny to send me that text msg yesterday. I wish she was here. Yes, I do. Is today Drea's birthday or is it tomorrow? Wish someone was here to take pics of us. Wonder if Tim is feeling better? Why hasn't he texted me this morning? When do we start? How many more minutes? This will be my first/last of these. I think we forgot to bring a towel. Am I going to get trampled when we start? Fall again? Man, my knees hurt.
And then, off we go.
I started out pacing myself. People running past me and I didn't care. As the masses passed me and I was keeping up w/ Neen, I was beginning to breathe hard. She proceeds to tell me, "You need to regulate your breathing better." Oh really? Ok. So I do what she says and then just said, "Go ahead. Really." And I slowed down to what I like to call a mall walk pace. There was no one in front of me for about 8 yards and no one behind me about that same distance. Cool, I can think. THEN I began to wonder how far apart the waves were. Was the next one going to start and people from that one pass me? Oh that's effin great. Every so often my sister would stop and cheer me on. But I wasn't sure if it was sarcasm or genuine. We did the cars first. Climbing over junk cars. Then tires. That was fun. I just walked on top of them. Yay, obstacles one and two, done. Then I was just pissed off. Just pissed off that I was even there. Wishing I had cancelled. BUT if I say I'm going to do something, I do it. And I signed up for this, so I'm going to do it. My friends flaked out on spectating. I did tell Tiff and Diane, a few friends that wanted to come, not to. I just wanted to get it over and done with. Our "team" was missing. I was not a happy girl at this point.
I started listening to a team behind me. One guy, three girls. The guy was hilarious. He was totally encouraging them. I liked it. He said, "C'mon ladies, no one gets left behind." I said, "Yeah, that's what my team said and do you see anyone with me?" They actually jogged up a little faster to catch up to me and said, "You're on this team now." We were doing stupid shit like "spirit sprinkles"....well, that's what James called my rendition of "jazz hands"...we ran, sprinted, walked, jogged, joked, laughed, and splashed through the creek, grunted up the hill, raced up the wall, scooted over the planks (which were so easy, at this point of pep in my step, might've been able to do cartwheels on the planks). Wow, did I just make it up the wall? Why yes, you did, Khaki. One of the obstacles you were stressing over, DONE!
I'm starting to have some fun and am glad that I'm there. Hello, rope bed though. Like a rope wall only no incline and elevated off the ground about 5-6 feet. So I have to climb up this wall and spider crawl on some fierce rope netting. I can see Neen. She's looking back at me, "Ass up, Khaki, like this." Nah, I don't want to do that. My legs are tired. I will just wait until the coast is clear and roll through this bitch. And I did. I log rolled across the 3 sections of this obstacle. So, while I have a fear of public humilation, sometimes I do things that one would think would be embarrassing and don't care. I'm just about to pull myself up to get off the obstacle when this lady, not all that small, is wearing pink Asics and my fingers are under her foot and she's struggling, using all her weight on that one foot, I swear, to get out of the net. I'm laughing and yelling at the same time. Fingers were cold and tingly after that. Nothing major though.
We're at a paced jog and I'm thinking, "How much longer?" James, Sandra, Tracy, and Alexis are still cracking jokes and we're all encouraging one another. James made a comment, "I think your sister is trying to tell us something." I said, "How so?" She's way the hell up there. He said, "Exactly." I laughed in a you-don't-know-the-half-of-it-don't-start kind of way and sped up to finish the race with her. As fast as my random thoughts often pass through my mind, they came again.
You can do this. This isn't THAT hard. Quit making it harder than it is. You've accomplished things in your life alot harder than a freakin, FUN, obstacle course. There's hot mud you're about to dive into up there. Wouldn't it be cool if my friends that told me they weren't coming actually came and surprised me? Tell me I can't and I'll show you I can.
Oh and what's this, random thoughts interrupted, brunette barbie just passed me, wearing a pink sports bra, black spandex shorts, matching running shoes, and sporting rock hard abs, hardly panting, like a gazelle, and it dawns on me...the NEXT wave of people are coming..there's no way in hell she's from my wave of people. They are now passing us/me. Now, my goal was NOT to be first. I mean, that's not a reasonable expectation to have. But it damn sure wasn't to be passed by someone I had a 30 minute start against....and it damn sure isn't to be last of my wave. So, I saw the rope wall and was smiling and really glad because I was 3 obstacles away from the finish line.
As I'm climbing up the rope wall, a photographer is behind the netting. He says, "That's the prettiest smile I've seen all day." I said, "So take a picture!" He said, "Got it." Then he's telling me to be careful and reach left, and I'm like, "I got this!!!"
Neen is at the bottom cheering me on. At this point, I think she's genuine. We jumped over the cheesy make-shift fire pit, then dove into the mud where we crawled on our hands and knees. These last 3 obstacles were so close to the finish line that spectators are watching us at this point. I just don't even want to make ey contact w/ any of them. Get me out of here and amidst the mud-covered masses w/ a medal around my neck so I can go home.
We finish. A lady puts a medal on my neck. I look back at the race and see quite a few people approaching the finish line and was comforted, proud, relieved, happy.....I wasn't last. I finished. And it ended up being fun.
Then me and Neen get to the car and forgot to bring a towel. Covered in mud. Now, I have this huge reservation about my body. And so this is funny. Neen is wanting to look for the showers. I'm like, "Just open your car doors, change between them." And she says, "You, YOU are going to just change out here?" I take off my shirt right in the parking lot, and yes, changed right there. I piled up all my muddy clothes, put on dry ones and was done. Proud. Accomplished. Finished.
I know it was just a silly race to most people. But to me, it was more than that. It was overcoming many things. And I gained perspective on so much while I was out there. Mission Accomplished.
Fun Fact: There was a guy who finished the entire race in 18 minutes. Wow. I tried to check the stats to see who had the best time and where exactly I "placed" but it wasn't posted at the time of this blog.
