The Golden Ticket.....Cloud 9!

Ok, so here I am having just gotten home from the Tightrope CD release party of my all time favorite songwriter, Susan Gibson. I am on a high....the shaking has since subdued but I can't sleep. So blog, I go.

When I was around 14, I would sit in the living room of our condo in Amarillo, TX and I would listen to Gary Wayne and Quincy jam out acoustically song after song so many times that I can remember falling asleep many nights. Back then Gary was in a band called the Groobees. Their first CD, Flying Machine, lacked something overall....and then you'd hear it echo in the background....a female vocal....powerful....just every so often in very few songs. THEN BAM, like Emeril, here she is on their 2nd CD and then BAM here she is in the forefront of all of their shows...their chick singer....the power behind the voice and later I learned the mastermind behind a lot of their lyrics...Susan Freakin' Gibson.

She has this natural beauty about her....scuffed up boots, rugged sweater, hair down or thrown up....a beautiful soul. During my struggle with my weight, I became a huge fan searching for the confidence that she carried in conversation and on stage. Of course, my heart still with Gary Wayne and his riffs....whether electric or acoustic.....but the chick on stage that I was beginning to idolize was Susan. She's not a teeny tiny sex machine like a lot of chick singers, no. She's a good ol' homegrown lyrical genius that can play not only the guitar but so many other instruments. If only I could be like Susan.....a woman who is comfortable in her own skin...something I've never been.

I never had an interest in picking up one of my brother's guitars....too hard. But I've always loved to sing. And I would memorize her parts to all the Groobees CDs. When in Amarillo, we'd go hear them play. When in Dallas, we'd go hear them play. In fact, not even 24 hours after being released from the hospital in Dallas for having spent 7 days in the hospital with pnuemonia, I made Kevin (my now ex-husband) take me to Denton to see a show in a smoke filled bar. I had to go.

I wore these snakeskin printed vinyl pants to her show at Sons of Hermann Hall in Dallas once....and she actually asked if she could have them. Perhaps kidding....did she know I would've gladly traded her pants that day? :-)

Insert Comforts of Home off the Groobees Wayside CD....I would run a bath and jam out to this song..on repeat....hello, concert and audience of and for ONE. Me. Little did I know how that song would hit me several years later....as I became a hermit, confined to my own adventure of self destruction. Food. Avoidance. Weight gain. Disconnect. "At times it seems I just can't wait to lock my doors and hibernate...."

At a Poor David's Pub show in Dallas, I was front row with about 7 or 8 coworkers that were all there because of me and my stellar marketing skills.....I was singing at the top of my lungs...Shut This Place Down...and Susan forgot the words....looks at me as I'm mouthing every single lyric, winks, nodded, smiled, laughed...and said, "Hell I don't know the words but SHE sure does...." and I'm still convinced I cued her back on track.

Quincy used to do karaoke at his house with his sound system and all his friends and of course, the only song I would sing was Susan. He'd put on her CD, turn down the vocals and I'd wail....it always had to be Susan though.

She was at the fair in Dallas one year....oh wait, 2005 to be exact. My son, Kyan, was only a few months old and it was hot as hell. We got a picture of me holding Kyan with Susan next to us. It was one of my favorite pics ever. I put it in a baby book of his and labeled it...."Me and Mom with her all time favorite songwriters. She's famous, ya know." Then, last year, Kyan got the privilege of having her sign this book at her show in Austin at Patsy's Cowgirl Cafe....

I got to meet her right hand girl, Jana, and am in just as much awe of her as I am Susan. Jana is also a good soul. You can just tell. Let's not overlook either of their talents...She engaged in conversation with me and actually inquired about the boys and such. That's a definite feel good moment I don't care who you are. I'm not a psycho stalker type fan. I do keep up via facebook, twitter, newsletter, all the happenings of several of my favorite musicians...local or otherwise. But for Susan's shows, I'll pay a babysitter, pay a cover, sit through opening acts, and will even go solo to the gigs....parking several blocks away in the cold and walking.

Her music tells a story for me. While some of the words don't fit just right to the happenings of my life...I can remember getting ready for a date while listening to this song or that song...driving on a road trip here or there, remembering who I was with at a particular show....what I was going through when this CD came out or that one....

My first "real" concert that I ever went to was at American Airlines Center in Dallas, TX. It was the Dixie Chicks. I was in my 20s. And before you think that's lame.....I've only been to 4 concerts in my life, to date....and I just turned 32. Anyway, when they played Wide Open Spaces, I remember crinkling up my nose...it wasn't the version I knew.....or that I sang. It wasn't Susan's version.

I've encountered my fair share of heartaches in my lifetime...and Not My Man is now scratched and skips when I play it.....but you know what, I can sing through the skips. I know exactly where they are on the CD. Anyone that travels in my car will get to witness (in no order) 1) some John Mayer 2) my awesome Shakira impression and 3) they will get to endure music by Susan and/or The Groobees.

I drive to Waco every other Friday and drop the kids to Kevin who lives in Dallas....and I've stopped letting people come with me on these drives because having someone sit in the passenger seat for 120 miles when all you really want to do is sing Susan Gibson all the way home, is well, just annoying. I have finally confessed this tidbit of info to my friends who became offended...."Its' not you, it's me. I just like the solitude and well, I like to sing as if no one is listening....."

My most meaningful show was last year at Patsy's Cowgirl Cafe not only because she signed Kyan's baby book and the boys got to meet the voice behind the CDs we listen to in the car but because I casually made mention of my divorce and she referenced her song "Baby Teeth".....And from that second on, that song took on a whole new meaning for me.....

So, for the past year I've waited for this CD to come out. I had to go tonight. So, I paid a sitter to watch the boys, begged my brother to come so I wouldn't have to go alone, ATM'd my last $100 before my IRS refund deposits at midnight....and as a last minute mention, invited my friend Stephanie to come out. Now Stephanie and I are going to the Broken Spoke this weekend. It was a total surprise that she even listened to country type music....anyway, she agreed to come.

We arrive, I buy a CD and it doesn't contain the golden ticket. I'm a little saddened. A sinking feeling in my gut. Really?!? How could I not win? I may not be her biggest fan but a fan I am, for sure. I mean, if you were to ask my brother, he would put money on it that I was.....I mean, I even sing the guitar riffs....the bow neow, duh, nnn, doo, doos.....c'mon! I still have my Groobees sweatshirt, hat, do-rag.....how could Khaki, of all people, not win?!?! Whatever, I don't, so I go in and find the closest seat I can.

At their first break, Stephanie is toe-tappin, beer drinkin, and singing along....she goes to buy the CD. I go outside with Quincy. I tell her before I go, "If you win, it's mine." We laugh. I come back inside, she comes up to me and says, "Now, Khaki, there's just one thing.....you have to take me with you to the Thai food dinner." It dawns on me (as that's one of the perks the golden keyholder gets)............Steph won!!!!! WHAT?!?!!?! No way!!! I just introduced her to the greatness that is Susan. This is her first Susan experience. But wait, she just gave it to me!!!!!!!!! Holyfuckingshit!!!!!! No way. I don't win anything.....EVER...and while technically I didn't win this, I did.

Stephanie, my newest and closest friend....one of two (out of a total of 22 invited) that came to my birthday party, that didn't bail on me.....that eats sushi with me.....that listens to me rant about my horrid dating stories and the douchebags I continue to meet.....we won!!! Wowzie. I'm stoked.

Jana takes a picture of me, Steph, and Susan. Hello, Awesome. And we talked about Thai food. I can't wait.

Now, I just wish she had done Willin'.............that's one of my favorites that she does. In fact, she's the first person I've ever heard do that song. Quincy had to tell me it was an old Linda Ronstadt song. She did it at Saxon Pub here in Austin not that long ago and I was at that show by myself....except for the new friends I had made at the bar.....but when she belted out that song, I teared up. Love it! I didn't see it coming as it had been YEARS since I had heard her do it.

"Words make you think a thought. Music makes you feel a feeling. A song makes you feel a thought."
E.Y. Harburg

I love to write but I can never express my thoughts like those others have put to song.  - Khaki