It seems to never stop in your life; mine, too. It often feels like crisis is just around the corner. One wrong step and *BAM*...your life is in a tailspin ...again. When I was younger I used to think that I would outgrow crisis. I would get to a place in life where I could outsmart it and life would just get easier. I would say to myself, "When I finish college I won't have to deal with this kind of stress anymore". Then later I'd say, "Once my career is under way I'll shake these money problems," or "When I get married, I'll no longer have relationship problems." Yeah… right! The truth is crisis is just a part of life.You will always have problems to face. Relationships will have conflict. Money and jobs come with stress. You will experience loss. You will have to deal with tragedy at some point. Sooner or later you’re going to fail at something. When crisis shows up, you can let it break you down or you can use the situation to grow and learn...and become a better person for it.
I think crisis can fall on a spectrum. There's the mini-crisis which is in the heat of the moment but you overcome it in a few minutes or hours. Example, losing your debit card and pulling up to the window in a drive-thru and that is your only means to pay except that just when you think you might have to explain to the barista, you discover that debit card has fallen in your lap or something. Then there's the mega-crisis, big things like no light in sight at the end of that tunnel....some financial woes, loss of a job, divorce, death, etc. And then there's those things in between.
So, my break-up with Jefferson was on a spectrum of crisis but little did I realize in that moment of sadness, okay, days of sadness, that I would recover 10 fold. He was not that devastating but the WAY it was handled was a bit of a blow. Not worth analyzing. I will say that I am relationally miles ahead of where I was months ago. I just think I'm getting it. Slowly but surely, I'm getting it. The people in my life today that weren't here even 6 months ago, are such a welcome to my life. I can't explain it and each for very different reasons. They wouldn't be here if I were still w/ Jefferson. I'm getting out and about and taking risks and becoming more and more an extrovert. I guess I've always been one but moreso lately. I'm learning so much about myself.
With all that said, I wonder why people are important to some people and others are content being loners. At work I took a test. Myers-Briggs to be exact. My score was summarized as "Social Realist" which I believe to be very true. You'd have to read the score to understand the results. www.41q.com/type.41q?p=13677515&n=Khaki Social Realist: Warm-hearted, popular and conscientious. Tend to put the needs of others over their own needs. Feel strong sense of responsibility and duty. Value traditions and security. Interested in serving others. Need positive reinforcement to feel good about themselves. Well-developed sense of space and function Careers that woudl fit Khaki: Home economics, nursing, teaching, administrators, child care, family practice physician, clergy, office managers, counselors, social workers, bookkeeping, accounting, secretaries, organization leaders, dental assistants, homemakers, radiological technologists, receptionists, religious educators, speech pathologists
Braden is coming to town this weekend. I think we'll have a good time. I'm looking forward to it. No dates, no stress, just some good ol' fun. It's new but familiar all at the same time. He even said he'd get a pedicure with me. Wow. I swear, if he was gay, he'd be the perfect best friend ever. We're gonna have fun.
I'm hating my job more than ever. The hours they want me to put in are ridiculous. I can't keep up with the demands. I do a good job though and one of the controllers said, "Who doesn't like Khaki?" I said, "No kidding, right?" He said, "You definitely have a likeability factor." We were speaking in comparison to someone that also did a good job at what she does but she is less than favorable with the other accountants.
My hip constantly aches but I can't afford to go to physical therapy 2-3 times a week. I do what she showed me at home but after this weekend, it's killing me. I wish at this point, they'd cut me open and just fix it. :-(
Off to bed, exhausted.
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